- 3 years ago
This an excellent question that I've seen asked over the past couple of years.
Answer: You're an ageplayer. You're a little. You prefer being in littlespace versus the 'real world' of adults.
Answer: Littlespace is a time when you're really indulging and fleshing out with your 'childish' interests. (Think something like: cartoons on the couch while cuddling with stuffed animals and your favorite soft blanket while you much on a snack in a children's snack cup and have a sippy cup full of chocolate milk.)
What you're describing is not a sexuality or gender identity. We can't say, "I know I'm a man but I feel like I'm a woman internally!" because that doesn't have to deal with how they process information on a cognitive level. Saying, "I know I'm an adult but I feel like a child!" would have everything to do with cognitive impairment and, thus, could be easily diagnosed (and would likely result in being labeled mentally disabled).
You're talking about cognitive function. You very well could be a child, mentally, but then you'd actually be mentally impaired. As in, you, mentally, would be a child and not be able to cognitively function as an adult. You wouldn't be able to mentally function as an adult if placed into an adult situation because you wouldn't have the ability to mentally process it.
That isn't the case though. Your brain is choosing how to react because it is cognitively matured and developed. You aren't stuck as a 6 year old while your body is 38. If you were then you'd be mentally disabled and incapable of things like consent.
A child--a 6 year old--wouldn't be capable of pretending to be a functioning adult. Their brain development would not allow them to do that.
What you're saying is--you prefer being in littlespace and that being an adult is tiresome because it feels like you have to hide and change things you enjoy because they are perceived as childish. You have a tendency to choose childish things (cartoons, toys, coloring, swinging on swingsets, etc) versus more adult things (action movies, restaurant dinners, building a swingset, etc). I understand this and I think a lot of us prefer this--but, cognitively, you are still an adult despite what you prefer.
If you are mentally not developed then you wouldn't be able to "act like an adult" when you needed or wanted. You wouldn't be capable of it. You are mentally not disabled/retarded/incapable. As a matter of fact, you probably wouldn't even be able to consciously recognize that you're not 'acting your age' in situations.
Somewhere along the way people in the DDlg / ageplay /etc. community begin to say things like, "But this is how I really am! I really am a 6 year old mentally!" but this cannot be unless you literally are mentally disabled. You may prefer or choose to act like a 6 year old. You may prefer or choose to enjoy things that many 6 years olds enjoy. The fact that you can determine that you are physically not 6 and that you have a preference for things that are not of your biological age means you are not mentally impaired. You are still an adult with littlespace preferences. I'm not sure why we're thinking so deeply into it.
Yes, it is just me that I like coloring, stuffed animals, and cartoons from the 1980s. Yes, I realize that people who are in theirs 20s and 30s don't have a tendency to enjoy these things. Yes, I know that I playfully regress to let go of my adult stresses. Yes, I know that acting like a normal adult is draining. I am still a functioning adult mentally and biologically though. If I saw a psychologist they wouldn't diagnose me with a mental impairment because I "feel" like I'm a child at heart and prefer childish things because I have the cognitive function of an adult. I'm not stuck in some mental state that doesn't allow me to be an adult or anything of the sort that some people do have to deal with each day.
In short: stop overthinking things and just enjoy being you and regressing into your littlespace state whenever you've chosen.