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You may need to work on conversational skills, manners, initial impressions you make, or any number of important points so I can't really say where you're going wrong necessarily but can point you to general advice to get you started if you take it seriously.
I can also tell you to keep hope, and keep making personal improvements on yourself. You'd rather find someone who takes your relationship seriously than someone who makes a fling of it just because they have one label you like. Most people have to search, struggle, and grow to be able to find someone who makes their heart the happiest it's ever felt.
You do not need a Caregiver to validate your existence, and they aren't going to be capable of resolving your own mental health conditions just by existing in your life.
A Caregiver is much like a parental sort of partner. The role of a Caregiver is often to mimic parenting or over-parenting of their partner, as if their partner is their child. They express love through this way, and that love is more valuable to the little since it often feeds into their feeling of natural regression. It's still an adult relationship though, and the two(+) people involved in the relationship are expected to work together to form the right bond together that works for them.
Caregivers also cannot give you full validation as a person or resolve mental health conditions you may have just because they're comfortable with adult responsibility. Please try not to fall into the thought that a Caregiver's acceptance or existence is what you need to feel happy. Again, fulfillment is much deeper than having a person in your life that identifies one way or another.
Caregivers cannot just magically make you become an inexperienced, biological child again with no awareness of responsibilities, stressors, self-image, concerns, worries, depression, negativity, pessimism, or general sadness. If you are sad then that is really something you want to investigate, explore, and try to resolve apart from expecting your partner to magically handle that on your behalf (because nobody can "fix" you but yourself).
Being a biological adult is a good thing though. While you cannot turn back the clock on what you've gained through the years, you can use those skills and the knowledge you've picked up to better not only your life but the life of your partner to-be! You can be useful even as an adult as a part of the love you express for your future Caregiver. They will appreciate it very much that sometimes you can be their helper.
Once you explore yourself and have a strong understanding of your ultimate expectations and needs from a partner then you can find an appropriate match that is going to actually care about you--as a person, as an individual, as someone deeply special and irreplaceable, and not just as one single role, label, or title that makes up a part of you.
My suggestion here would be:
- Explore various ways of relieving stress in your personal life. Search Google for some ideas of general stress relief and try them out in your day to day life and see how some of them make you feel.
- Consider what it is you want in a partner and make an effort to find that individual person, regardless of the label they do or do not hold within a certain community. Compatibility goes far beyond one single title, role, or identity.
Partnering is going to take a long time to achieve for most people. Expect it to take a long time, for you to have failures before a grand success, and for it to actually be a partnership--not something where you get all of your needs met and then the other person robotically just deals with their own issues without your involvement.
- Talk with someone about your concerns, worries, stress, and general problems. Community forums can be great for letting things out. Chat rooms may be helpful. A good therapist is probably best since they can professionally help you work through things and have an educated background on psychology and mental welfare. Bottling your thoughts and feelings up isn't helpful though.