- 1 year ago
I feel like this is very similar to typical dating behavior and comes down to a personal choice. There is no right and wrong answer to this when just getting to know people in the world of dating.
It may or may not be beneficial to you to chat with multiple potential partners at once. There are a few factors you need to take into consideration, such as your own feelings and capabilities to bond as well as how strong you feel about what you're exactly looking for in a partner. If you know exactly what you want and you find someone who possesses all of your desires then it might not be in your best interest to continue searching. If you know you bond very deeply, very quickly to people then it might not be in your personal best interest to chat with multiple potentials at once.
You should also be reasonable with the number of people you're getting to know at once. The more people you add to your new mix, the harder it may become to truly get to know each one deeply enough to determine true compatibility. Be reasonable and not greedy, you aren't going to have your cake and eat it too so don't fool yourself that you can.
Some people say that if you know mostly what you want then it's not a good idea to keep looking for someone after you find a likely match to your desires in a partner. Some people say that it's good to talk to a few people at once to help you determine what sort of partner you're looking for and what qualities you ultimately find best suits you. These things are still quite personal decisions, and aren't necessarily rules to stand by for every individual when it comes to dating.
Generally speaking, both parties interacting should be under the initial impression that the other has not yet dedicated themselves to a committed relationship early on in their getting to know one another. Sometimes people mutually discuss the commitment after a couple of weeks and sometimes people choose to quietly devote themselves to focusing on building to a potential relationship with that person. Ultimately, you are not expected to only talk with one person at a time at first, but you should be actively removing connections over time if you're looking for something serious. Usually, people dating online choose to commit to a relationship (if they were actually looking for a committed relationship) after a few weeks or a month of getting to know one another.
Sometimes people want a commitment of interest early in on getting to know one another so that they have more security that they are not wasting their time. After all, how would you feel if you dwindled down your potential partners to what you deemed as the very best only to have him tell you the next day that he had done the same and had chosen another person instead? Maybe you would feel that you had wasted your time, gotten your own hopes up for something that could have been wonderful, or had hurt others' feelings when you told them that you had made a choice.
If an interested person asks you to stop getting to know other Daddies while you're getting to know them then you should consider this in some cases if you really have true interest in this person. If you have real, true interest in them already then it might not hurt to focus on only getting to know them for a couple of weeks. After all, you'll be making a decision about them in a few weeks to a month anyway, and at that point you could always hop back into the scene and start talking to a few more people. That's entirely your call though, but it's reasonable for them to ask and shouldn't be met with shame. You can always decline that and let them know you'd rather not commit to only getting to know them! Everyone has these decisions to make in the world of dating.
In addition, the longer you wait the more bonded you may become to multiple people. I don't recommend you chat with 2+ potential partners for months on end under the belief that you will be able to choose one to devote yourself to in a partnership. You need to set reasonable time-frames for getting to know people and at the end of that time-limit you need to make individual decisions if you want to pursue them or not. I feel like within a month to two you can likely determine compatibility. After all, a part of committed dating is also getting to know someone long-term over a long period of time. You aren't expected to know someone's 20+ year life history in a matter of a month or two, but you should be able to gauge your own interest and compatibility with them.
At some point if you've been open then you need to determine when it's right for you to cut off other people's connections to you in the romantic sense--at least telling them that you will no longer be pursuing a potential relationship with them as your Caregiver and that you feel you are more interested in other people you've met. You will need to be very clear at that point, as to not give them the impression that they should still have hope you will change your mind.
It is usually also at this point that the boyfriend/girlfriend or Daddy/little question is presented and confirmed. "Will you be my Daddy?" is essentially asking, "Will you commit to me?"
Also be aware that if the person offers the relationship to you and you accept--it is usually under the "monogamous" suggestion at first (until you both agree otherwise, if that's the preference). If the person says, "I'll be your Daddy if you will have me..." and you said, "Yes, that sounds great, Daddy," then you have just agreed to a commitment (though, you can absolutely discuss more "open" agreements thereafter).
You should consider your behavior and what might be considered "leading on" as well. If you are calling someone Daddy (think of it as calling someone your boyfriend/girlfriend), acting as if you're in a relationship with them, having very serious "dates" together, making plans for the future together, or outright making statements of commitment ("I'll always be your little...", "I'm yours," or even for many people: "I love you") then consider yourself already committed.
Ultimately, honest and clear communication is the most important point. You should probably tell these Daddies that you are also talking with other Daddies right now while you're trying to figure out what sort of Daddy you're really looking to partner with long-term. Most will probably understand and agree (and may be talking with multiple littles themselves), some will choose to excuse themselves from further investing in getting to know you (which is still quite fair), and a few may become upset because they felt they were under a monogamous commitment of interest already with you (which you can correct in the future by being more forward about openly searching and not committing to anyone until a few weeks into getting to know them).
In the future, I would recommend letting a new potential interest know you're chatting with multiple potentials by saying something like, "I just want to let you know that I'm not comfortable committing to anything serious right away. We can talk about commitments after we get to know one another better though because I am ultimately looking for something that will last. You're not the only person I'm up to getting to know right now, but I am very interested in you and want to get to know you as best as I can within the next few weeks. If that changes I'm going to let you know right away."
You can also contact me at littlespaceonline @ gmail.com if you can't reach me here!