[thedaddyest]

what's that one BeDeeSeM community website?

But I think the good doctor has some very good thoughts.

But I disagree with his impression of a generaltional difference in littles.

Although I would agree there are more dysfunctional littles in the younger generation than his own.

I wouldn't say that it's a problem with the generation as much as a problem with inexperience and the reinforcement of bad emotional or psychological habits formed by places like tumblr. Although tumblr has pretty much put a stop to it. which I think is for the best.

I think if we just as a community try and push people to proper resources, that these problems would go away quickly.

As for little space being an emotional pressure valve that's absolutely correct imo. And I also see it as healthy up to a point as well.

All coping mechanisms can be healthy if not abused.

[DrDaddyBear]

"one BeDeeSeM community website"

If you Google the above phrase, the first non ad link is to that site. The mods have blocked the site here for their own reasons, this is a privately held public forum, so they are within their rights to do so.

As to the question of generational differences : do you think there are any generational difference ? If so what and why would they not extend broadly across all lifestyles of a generation, if you believe there are no generational differences, then how would you explain why so many people are viewing a homogeneous people as being generational, is it simply because of shared experience such as the Challenger and Columbia tragedies, liss of the Berlin Wall, Iran hostage crisis, Introduction of the internet, always connected, personal computer, cell phones (a few of my own) resulting in changes to the group psyche and dynamic, and why not see those kinds of groups as generations ?

[N00b]

I think you both have given some pretty good insight. I guess I need to take some time to self reflect and maybe make more posts to discuss specific topics. probably once the semester is over. I’m stressed to the max and I have so many things to do

[Deleted User 52492]

Hi, I am super new to identifying as part of the community and empathize with your discomfort as I am not out to anyone at all (like, I dont even know exactly what I am? A babygirl?). I wanted to reply though because I am a grad student (getting a PsyD) and working as a therapist for practicum, and based on my experiences as a professional, I would recommend when looking for therapists asking them outright if they are familiar and comfortable working with self exploration regarding kinks, adult interests, the BeDeeSeM community, or some sort of generalized indication of what you're hoping to delve into. Unfortunately many therapists are ignorant and apt to pathologize this identity. Finding out ahead of time if a potential therapist is competent enough to not stigmatize you may be less painful than building rapport with one who doesnt have yet have the cultural competency to understand that this is normal and not unhealthy simply because it doesn't conform to social norms. Yes you are protected by HIPAA, but the emotional harm is still possible. If you're already struggling with feelings of shame, then having a therapist respond badly can reinforce those feelings. That said, I know a few clinicians who are either in the BeDeeSeM community or have studied it and are invested in incorporating that in their practice. I also know other clinicians that, although they dont have a lot of specific knowledge about the community, are open minded and less prone to pathologizing someone. But it's a mixed bag and why I recommend asking ahead of time before committing to a therapist and trying to work up to it later. It's not impossible so I hope my comment doesnt come across as hopeless, there are clinicians out there who can help.

[DrDaddyBear]

What it comes down to is trust and transference/empathy (for lack of better terms).

If you do not trust your Dr/Therapist , then you have to decide if you want to stay with them. maybe there is no other choice where you are, or maybe you can ask others in the community, maybe go to a munch.

I will be honest, I have some very strong views with regards to the community and phychiatry /psychology but they are not the views most would expect and tend to hinge on the issue of does it cause harm to the individual involved or a direct participant, plus does the individual see it as a problem.

There are growing trends that bother me greatly, but it still comes down to the base (above) questions.

[Deleted User 52492]

DrDaddyBear, I agree. Unfortunately many clinicians mean well but arent aware of their blind spots. I'm interested in what your views are. You seem to know a lot more about the community than I do

[DrDaddyBear]

Dovah, It is just because I am old and am known to judge people on their character rather than their method of expression. If you want to PM me or start another thread to discuss the clinical aspects of the community, I would be fine with either, but I do not want to hijack this thread to that end. If you opt to start a new thread/ stream ping me so I know it exists. I am not quite as active online in advocacy and education as I would like to be and so I miss things if someone does not point them out.