Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge. (Age 18 or older only permitted)
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#52247
You may consider not referring to it so much as "a lifestyle" but, rather, a personal identity or personality trait.

You may also want to avoid the "Little" label since they may not be educated enough to know of it just yet (forcing them to try to quickly find reliable information--which is pretty scarce in itself). I would also suggest to avoid using the "regressor" word since regression in the medical sense is rarely seen as positive and within psychology specifically it is a bit of pseudoscience.

I would suggest revealing statements such as:

  • As for who I am, I identify as a person who is more childlike than other adults.
  • I believe I have a personality trait that is more childlike or childish than my peers.
  • I tend to lean to liking more things targeted to and for children and I'm comfortable with being a little silly and different in comparison to other people at, say, my workplace. I'm kind of like a child at heart or just a big kid that never quite grew up but, well, haha, certainly did grow!
  • Sometimes I just feel like a big kid who never quite grew up like everyone else, if that makes any sense to you. It can be fun but I certainly have my quirks.
  • I tend to partner with and have romantic relationships with people who are more [childish or parental] than others since that seems to counterbalance my own personality.
If you want to address your regressive trait directly in hopes of them helping you to "correct" it or some such then you might phrase it like:

  • Do you know how people talk about that Peter Pan Syndrome stuff? I know it's not an actual term or diagnosis you use, but how people talk about it is sort of how I see myself? I really feel like I struggle to grow up like everyone else has and sometimes I don't know how to deal with that. That's why I believe I'm here today.
When you make it seem less of a "lifestyle choice" and more of an identity of who you are then there is more pressure for them to accept that as a valid part of yourself versus an area that needs to be "resolved" through therapy. Facts are not optional, and true personality traits are not necessarily areas of "correction" for therapists.

The more natural and fluid you describe your identity within the community then the more confident you appear to be about yourself (and the less they are inclined to feel you need their assistance in "correcting" that part of your life). If you don't feel that being a little is specifically a core issue you need to deal with and "resolve" during therapy sessions then you may not want to make a big "reveal" so much as simply just lightly stating personality facts and traits throughout normal therapeutic conversation.

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#52248
Thank you! That was very informative, and I’ll definitely keep this information in mind if I ever think about revealing anything to a therapist! :yay: Especially the bit about lifestyle vs personality traits.

Have you heard of any individuals in this community who have revealed that part of themselves to a therapist? I wonder what the general response would be from a professional. And possibly if it might differ depending on what the professional is (LLP, social worker, etc), but I know that would probably be near impossible lol! :omfg:

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#52250
My therapist knows. I have always been child like and when I first started seeing her I would be talking then all of a sudden talk in baby talk without even knowing it. I was afarid to tell her, because before she told me she didn't want me to do it. But it turns out she is okay with it, I just can't regress while in her office or in DBT group. At first when I was talking I mixed up age play with age regression, but we sorted it out.

My therapist is totally okay with it, as long as it doesn't interfere with daily things like being able to function as an adult. I tend to be in little space in one way or another 24/7.

My therapist is really down to earth and is understanding. Hell she cusses up a storm in front of me and tells me about her life and family. Most therapist won't do this but it shows that she trust me as much as I trust her. My advice is to think it through before you discuss it and try to think if they will approve or disapprove, and if you think they'll disapprove if you really want to tell them and may have to find a new therapist depending on how they act.

I hope this has helped a little it.

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#52251
Thank you both! You’ve helped a lot! I don’t currently have a therapist (but hopefully that will soon change), and it’s good to understand how to go about discussing it if I ever decide to. I’m still trying to figure myself out. I think I might be a little, but I’m not sure and this whole subject is really scary to me. I feel a lot of shame and I get so nauseous from it. ::(: I’m also studying to be a mental health professional, and this topic has never been discussed in any of my classes, so I’ve been really curious.

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#52257
You are certainly free to discuss anything and everything with your therapist, i am in the neuropsych field myself. I strongly suggest you remember what the definition of a mental disorder is Anything that is a behavioral or mental pattern that causes significant distress or impairment of personal functioning. Unless your being a little is causing you significant distress or impairing your functionality then it is not a mental disorder.

I do find that millennial and younger little are very different than the littles I tend to know in close association. I know of no older littles, personally, who are little 24 hours a day or even close to being such. he classic little, in my experience, is a driven individual who reverts as a pressure relief valve. The first little I ever knew was a charge nurse at the local hospital in a very high pressure area. When she came home she because a little in order to empathize and relieve her own stresses. I do not know your situation, but in her case being a little was not an impairment not did it cause her distress.

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#52295
Sorry for such a late reply! Your input is very much appreciated!

Your experience with younger and older littles is really interesting! While I’m definitely a millennial, I’m not sure which category I would fall under. I guess it really depends on the day. I have conflicting feelings about it. This is tough to figure out.

Possibly being a little is causing me some distress in a way. I feel shameful about it. I’m almost completely sure that most people in general would think I’m a freak or unhinged, and I think most people in my life would feel the same. I’ve seen posts online regarding this topic, and a lot of people think that this community is just pedophiles what with sexual relationships involving one or more individuals who are childlike.

And I also worry that if it ever got out, my future career would be put in jeopardy.

I also feel like I should have my snailpoop together and be responsible, you know? And being childish seems like the opposite of that.

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#52299
The name of a well known, general purpose website is childishly censored here to read “that one BDSM community website”.

My point was simply if you look at the bdsm community as a whole, you will find members from all walks of life, including medical professionals. Many people claiming to be of a certain professional ilk, however are fake, but they are easy to spot.

To expound some: you are looking at going into the health sciences. If you go to medical school, or become a psychologist, you will spend at least some time doing actual research. In doing that research, you will be exposed to the institutional review board and learn what some of the limits and guidelines are for human trials. Once you learn how they function, you will learn how stupid the copypasta things like: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/faceb ... de-public/ are. But, they serve as a good way of knowing who is just posing. So if someone, like myself, uses Dr in a title, always be skeptical. I have never looked at the statistics, but you can usually tell. Kind of like when a non exhibitionist posts just body pics, or every comment they make would get them slapped by their grandma, you know they are usually faking things.

BTW another flag is when they rant about people being fake or “not real” so you should be doubly wary of me :craze:

I do not keep my identity secret though, so if you really wanted to verify me you could find out my professional liscenses and even my companies and homes physical addresses. I do not reccomend people being quite so transparent, but I advocate for a lot of things. People are going to invvestigate me and so if I don’t hide things, I cannot be blackmailed or smeared. Plus what good does it do me to try and hide something about my own life when I spend time advocating others to accept it themselves?

When judge Roy Moore was in the news, I was with a little who was 18, I was 44. I tend to prefer folks who are closer to my own age range, but I constantly advocate that what goes on between two consenting adults, and I mean informed consenting, the technical meaning, not the common understanding of he/she said yes.

So do with it what you will, if being little causes you problems then by all means speak to a professional. You can work with them to devide if you want to change you, or change your perspective. A good doc will support you either direction. In most cases, unless you are harming yourself or others, the job is to help you bevome what you really want to become.

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