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#52129
So I know in my soul that I am a little, but I'm having a lot of trouble fully regressing.
I'm worried that I may not be able to fully regress without a caregiver present; because I worry so much about how my littlespace is perceived in my own home.
My husband has said in regards to my little-ness, that there is something wrong with me. So I feel very nervous about being little around him; which often leaves me in the dead of night sneaking around with my stuffie and paci, trying to cobble together my little time.
Will I be able to learn to regress without a guide? Do I need to try to get Hubby to come around to the idea so he can help?
Any input is greatly appreciated, and I know that a lot of this is such a personal situation that it can be hard to provide any help. But thank you anyway! - Moonie <3

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#52130
First you need to retrain yourself on how you are thinking about regression and your understanding of our roles as people.

No Caregiver can teach you how to regress.

No Caregiver can make you regress. You're either a regressive person or you aren't.

Caregivers do not guide you into experiencing regression. That's all on you. They guide you through life improvements, decision-making needs, personal discoveries for care needs, advising you of healthy habits including stress management, and prioritizing and actioning mandatory responsibilities. They're there to be your support system and your safety monitor. They're there to care about you, to care for you, not to make you become or feel something you naturally don't

They really, truly have nothing to do with the regression being actioned at all. They are just there to help the regression happen safely and to partner with you on maintaining a life despite being inclined to behave and generally think more childlike.

They take care of necessities and preferences while you are regressed to help alieviate those responsibilities from you.
They offer acceptance of your regression.
They care for you physically and mentally just as parents do to their children through tasks like meal preparation and environmental safety measures.

It's possible that a person can feel more comfortable and safe around a special Caregiver so much that they naturally fall into feeling more regressed. It is not necessarily anything the Caregiver "guided" them into doing though. It's a part of the bond and intimacy of the two people connecting like that.

It's also possible that you do experience fluctuating consistent regression. Regression is not black or white. It is not on or off for many people. Many people are always a bit regressed to some degree, and sometimes they experience deeper or more thorough regression than during their regular, daily lives.

I don't believe you can learn how to regress. Regression is personality based. If you don't regress then that's okay. You can still be a community advocate and friend to us.

I believe that IF you ARE a little then maybe you are not feeling fully regressed because you have a misunderstanding of what regression is. Or maybe you pereceive it to be something of an extreme change when it's usually not for most people. Or maybe you are just outright not comfortable enough to really relax and let yourself naturally make the small, childlike decisions a little makes when they are relaxing into their regression. Be patient with yourself!!

If you really believe you are a little then I'd start with trying to really make yourself comfortable and relaxed more often. Schedule time if you have to. Surround yourself with things you really love that relax you and make you feel safe and happy. Stop worrying about how deep your regression is or if so and so should be involved. Make time for yourself, listen to yourself, act on your natural impulses and you'll get as far as you can naturally go.

You do need anyone else to be able to experience regression. Anyone who tells you differently is wrong and does not understand that this isn't a game we're playing. We are people with this atypical, abnormal personality trait. We aren't electronics with on and off switches that need to be manually flipped by someone else. We're not actors on a stage hoping to land a part in a movie. We're really just people who are different.

So if your husband doesn't accept it then you need to have a heart to heart with him that you need to do some YOU things and have some YOU time which means sometimes you want to act childlike but that he doesn't need to do anything and doesn't need to be involved. This is a part of a partnership, a marriage, and finding your middleground together so you can make this work together. Talk with him and don't push him into doing things or into seeing you at extremes but allowing you to do a little something here and a little something there or at a set time when you can really veg out and do what you want without him being around (maybe he has guys night ?) Ultimately you HAVE to TALK with him about this one and maybe that will be many talks over time and maybe that will be short talks or long talks, maybe serious talks or maybe some casual talks. Just slowly show him a little of you being more childlike and let him accept smaller things instead of forcing him into seeing you full on regressed

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#52131
my goodness, thank you so much. That was an abundance of VERY helpful information. I have so much to learn still, and I will try to be more communicative with my husband about the matter. I think it helps me understand that I need to work through some fear and inhibitions to be able to enjoy who I am. And I'm very grateful to learn I dont NEED a caregiver for that to be able to happen. Thank you so much for your advice!

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