- 5 years ago
#51904
I will be giving you two articles to read, that are written by me; the first article will help you understand why you are feeling like that, and the next airtcle will give you a simple meditation process, that you can do to manage your emotions :
Here is the first article written by me on why some littles hate to be left alone at night :
1.
~ Some littles dont like to be left alone at night ~
When it comes to Little space, some littles experience stronger little space at night time. And during those time, their daddy dom should be with them. If their daddy dom is not with them during night time likes those, then that can affect their little space in future. Some of them may feel abandoned and neglated also. Since the ddlg relationship is the safe place for the Little to be herself, she lets her guard down and allows herself to explore her little space fully without any restrictions.
Sometime, the slience of the night and exhaustion from the day at work, can bring out strong feelings and emotions with little space also. That is why, the presence of their daddy dom allows them to feel safe and protected. During night time little spaces like that, the daddy dom should not talk about anything that can bring sadness in the little. It is the best time for stories and talking about fairy tales. It allows the little to explore her little world. She is able to let go of the outside world and be herself like that.
Anger and discipline are not good during night time little space. If the daddy dom needs to discpline the little, then discpline should be done in the morning, noon or evening time. When it comes to physically intimate play at times like that, it is better to play later after she has become more comfortable fully. physically intimate play during night times when she is feeling her little space deeply, can bring her out from her safe place. It would be more better to ask her first during times like that.
In a long distance relationship, the little should be told to keep her favourite blanket with her during her night time little space. She should not sit in a area where the room is too cold and too dark without any blanket. The feeling cold in night time little space is rather common, even in summar. The blanket, also called the blankie is great for comfort.
Beside stories, songs about fairy tales are great also. Anything that brings out the little in her and allows her to be herself without any judgement and fear are great for the little.
The little space can have diffirent level of vulnerability in certain time and events. The vulnerability can be strong during night time little spaces like that. The daddy dom should guide the little in her safe place during that time. That is mostly done using cuddles, love and gentle words that awakens and guides her little wings.
2.
Here is a process you can use to manage your fears. It is a general method for many little space related fears :
~ How to discover the Little within you ~
"You are a new Little. You are starting your journey in DDLG. But you are not sure about your Little space. You have experienced your little come out only few times. You don't know how to make her come out regularly. You have tried many things but she refuses to come out."
If that is your situation then you will have to learn how to discover your the little within you and help her come out. "The Little within" only comes out when four conditions are met. Those four conditions are
1. Self Love
2. Safety and protection
3. Freedom of from self Judgement and self criticism.
4. Putting aside your logic then awakened imagination.
A Daddy Dom is not always needed for the little to come out. Your little can come out even when you don't have a Daddy or caregiver. You will have to meet the four conditions.
Self love is the first condition for your Little to come out. You should not hate yourself. You should love yourself. You should not hate your body and you should not hate your life. Accept your body. Realize that no matter what the size of your body is. You are beautiful. Self love begins with loving yourself first and seeing yourself beautiful. It does not matter what other thinks about you. The only thing that matters is "what you think about your own body ?"
I understand that you may have been hurt in the past. You have met bad people and bad lovers who made you feel bad about yourself. Who left you heart broken. I understand the pain you have gone though. I know how sad it made you felt. You feel scared of failing in love many times. The only person who can love yourself is you first. You will have to realize that those were never your fault. It was those bad persons who were at fault. It was never your fault. Make a decision to love yourself today. Make the choice to that you will love yourself from now on. Then go Look at the mirror and say that I love my self. Say that I love my body. Say that I am beautiful. I am unique. You will feel your heart warm. The little within you will feel your self love.
After you have made your decision to love yourself, the next condition is safety and protection. The little needs to safe and protected. The only person who can make you feel safe is yourself first. Other persons come second. The first person who can make your little feel safe and protected is you. You may have meet some bad lovers who made you feel sacred and who made you feel unsafe. I understand the pain and suffering you felt. I understand the consent fear of abandonment you went though. But you will have to realize that those were not your fault. It is those person who were bad. Not you. You are good. You are enough. You are strong. Make a decision today that you are strong. Your past was not your fault. Make the choice to feel that you are safe with yourself. Say to yourself that I am strong. I am a warrior. I feel safe and protected with me. Your little will feel safe and protected.
After you have made your decision to be safe and protected with yourself. You will have to be free from self Judgement and self criticism. Your little is very sensitive to judgement and self criticism. Being judged and criticised makes her feel afraid. She hates being judged and criticised. She is afraid of anger, yelling and threats. In your past, you may have had lovers who criticised you, judged you, bullied you and made you felt bad about yourself. I understand how afraid it made you felt. I understand how lonely you felt. I understand how lost you were. I know about those voices that criticise you. The voices that make you feel bad about yourself. I understand those sudden urges of crying you felt.
You will have to realize that those were never your fault. You are not at fault. There is nothing wrong with you. The only person who can stop those self criticism voices and those self judgemental voices is you first. The other people come second. Make a decision today that you will not be criticised and judged anymore. Make the choice that it does not matter what other people thinks about you. Look at the mirror and say to yourself that I don't care what other people thinks about me. I am best. I am awesome. I am unique. I love me. I will never criticise and judge me. Your little will feel it. She will not be afraid to be judged anymore.
The final condition is putting aside your logic and awakening your imagination. When you want your little to come out, you will have to put aside your logic about those world. Don't try to understand your little. Don't try to view her as a scientific puzzle. Put aside your reasons when you want her to come out. Dont think about your label. Don't think about the age of your little. Don't think about if your little is a middle, big, or babygirl or princess etc. No logical thinking during time you want her to come out. You can think about those later when you are in adult space but not now when you want her to come out.
Awaken your imagination next. Look at the world around you. See it as a magical world. A world where fairies exist. A world where there is magic in the air. Look around you, notice the little details of life. Forgot about the adult world. Realize that the world has magic. Sing your favourite song. Dance a bit. You are free. You have entered the magical world. Everything is possible in this world. Feel that there is happiness everywhere. Visualize and feel the happiness filling you. Feel that the dark forest in your heart is turning green and alive. You are glowing bright. The sky is shinning bright. The trees are green and lively, the grass is greener. There are fairies and magical beings around you. Your little will feel free now.
Putting it all together in practice:
Choose a place where you will not disturbed. Wear loose cloths. If you have a stuffie and paci then that will be very good. If not then atleast keep a stuffie or teddy with you. Now lay on the bed, holding your stuffie close. Now go though the four conditions. Nothing is your fault. First accept yourself and love yourself. Then feel safe and protected with yourself, next remove judgement and self criticism. Finally put aside your logic and awaken your imagination.
Feel your little coming out. Let yourself drift back into your little space. You will feel your little coming out. You will feel her fully.
Reread the four conditions and understand each step. Think about the conditions and how they are connected together. Practice it daily. Your little will come out during unexpected moments. Mostly during when you are feeling happy. She will also come out during the exercise.
Don't feel discouraged if she does not comes out at first try. You will notice lots of changes each time you do the exercise. She will come our after few days.
Always realize that it was never your felt. You are strong, unique and beautiful. You are a little in a Magical world.
Best wishes. Be well.
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