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#51762
New Mommy here, I just started a Mdlb relationship and can only offer my input (as little and inexperience as it is).
I think it is a stigma thing. In society people tend to look down more on Mommy/Little relationships, but are more excepting of Daddy/Little; in affect, shying Mommies away from starting one.
Another could be a dominance thing. Like for me, even though I love babying my Baby Boy, being his Mommy, I'm not dominate/aggressive enough for him and feel like I'm failing him.
#51769
Yeah finding a mommy can be super hard. I think part of the problem is that there is a bit of a double standard. Even in the context of "normal" or "vanilla" relationships, It's more or less acceptable to call a partner "Daddy", but calling a partner "Mommy" is looked down on by the average person.

That being said, I feel like things are changing. People, for the most part, are slowly becoming less judgmental about how others want to live their lives. And there is so much more information and resources for littles and caregivers now, compared to even a handful of years ago. And I feel like I'm starting to see a lot more interested mommies than I used to. I've also believed, for quite a while now, that their are a lot of potential mommies out there. I just don't think they realize it (yet). Because of stigma, and a lack of information.

So I really think things are going to get easier for those of us looking for mommies. (Or being on a mommy quest as I like to call it. ::p: ) Maybe I'm just being overly optimistic, but I feel like I'm pretty innocent and adorable, how can their NOT be someone out there who'll love me for who I am? So it's really a matter of when and how.

Just for some background info, I'm 30 years old, I've never had a relationship, haven't really dated before, and I live in a small Canadian city, that seems to be stuck in some sort of time warp. So believe me when I say that I know how hard it can be. But if I give up, then I almost definitely won't find her.

So to anyone out there on THEIR mommy quest, just hang in there. And don't give up. And I believe you'll find your mommy someday. :nodyes: Maybe even sooner than you'd think.
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By Alanalena
#51771
Re: Mdlb Relationship
I can only speak for myself on this. I am a Mother in RT. My kids are grown adults now. I was so relieved when they became adults I planned to never babysit, have more kids or deal with anyone's children again. I was burned out. I raised them as a single mother and was always in charge.
Fast forward about 5 years after taking care of my parents and their deaths 6 months apart. I'm by myself. I'm missing my two sons. I get online and go to chat sites. Out of the blue I get young men requesting that I be their Mommy's. (I'd had a previous relationship 21 years before with a man who really turned me off to diapering. It was a RT relationship until he moved 500 miles away.)
I am relatively new to online relationships. I started this Mommy Domme thing not knowing what it was with a young man who gave me no hint as to how he wanted me to act or what he wanted from me. Initially he was suicidal and I contacted him via Skype because I was worried about him. This was back in August. I think he dumped me because he expected me to buy him things.
Almost immediately another young man who I met on the same site took up with me. We are still in an online relationship. It's contentious but he's troubled. It's challenging but he's gotten better at treating me a bit nicer. This is DEFINITELY NOT what I expected. I expect him to leave me at any minute. In fact I almost want him to. Still I stay because I feel he really needs SOMEONE to at least contact.
Anyway, I never wanted any relationship after a lifetime of some awful experiences. My personal preference for young men fit in perfectly with Mommy Domme as well as my ability to be empathic with many people in general. The long distance aspect of the relationship relieves 24/7 caring. And being solely in charge all those years has given me experience in being in control. It also gives my boys the feeling of comfort knowing I'm older and have RT experience.
I think that there are fewer women who do this because of my own initial reaction of relief when care giving was over. I don't think as many women go online and use chat rooms to talk about sex with men as men do to find women. I don't think as many women as men actually seek sex and that even less women seek sex with younger guys and EVEN LESSER than that seek a Mommy Domme relationship. Being a Mother is difficult in the best circumstances. Being a Mommy Domme is not like being a Mother. I’ve had to learn that the relationships I have with my littles are unique beyond what I knew as a Mother. I think that younger women may not feel that they have the experience to be a MD. I also think that older women may feel that they look ridiculous. Another issue is support. It’s not like you can say to anyone: “Oh, I’m having issues with my boy.” Or “Oh, my boy was so sweet to me today!”
But that's my take on this topic.
#51785
Our own background is in the AB community. In that part of the community we have seen and experienced the "Mommies are so rare" mentality. It was prevalent among Adult Babies, to the point of it feeling a distant dream, the ultimate fantasy, for most.

We would say that the question also includes MD/LG? We mean, in terms of popularity, we would say MD/LB is slightly more popular than MD/LG. So then the question can boil down to "why does it seem that there aren't many Mommies?"

We have had a few discussions with our Mommy on this very topic, trying to understand how mindsets differ from females/males, Caregivers/Littles.

The biggest conclusion that we were able to draw from that conversation is that, in general, females have a tendency to naturally care for the people they consider special, in such a way that it even feels "maternal". And typical vanilla relationships offer enough opportunities for women to excercise their psychological need to nurture and to love on their partner with soft and tenderness.

We strongly believe that if more women were exposed to the community and all of its resources then there could potentially be more Mommies, though there would be a high variability degree in how in-depth their interest would be (as in, how often they would want their partner to be in Littlespace and act out CG/L activities).

We would like to add that it is also more common for women to associate less with the Dominant aspect of Mommy Domme, compared to Daddies. We think this is due to different gender expectations. Men are more inclined to do things that outwardly assert control over their lives, while women tend to be more passive while still maintaining similar levels of control.

Dominance is not an inherent part of CG/L. Some Caregivers, like our own Mommy, see the roles being somewhat reversed, where is Babies are the ones making the demands and our Mommy being the one tending to them. So there is no fault in not confirming to the D part of MD.
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