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Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
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#51171
Many people toss around the idea of "fake" people in the community, but let's discuss the positive points when searching for love, romance, or general partnerships so that we can better avoid those who likely just aren't compatible with our individual selves.

It seems that many people, especially littles, struggle with finding a good match in the community for themselves, and sharing our knowledge from experiences about what we look for specifically when trying to determine who is capable of their role is important to discuss. What are some points to look for when trying to find a Daddy / Mommy / Caregiver who is serious about their role? What do you feel are positive indicators that a Caregiver type has a passion for or special interest in taking care of a little? What points do you think probably help a person take on the Caregiver role in full? What have you personally seen a Caregiver have about themselves that contributed toward their care for littles?

Let's avoid thinking about these questions as black and white qualifiers or mandatory criteria, but, instead, aspects that seem to be beneficial within the Caregiver identity. So, these things we're discussing here do not necessarily make a person become or qualify completely as a Caregiver, but perhaps they contribute to fulfilling the role for themselves and their little partner(s).
#51175
hihi

I am currently in a relationship with my daddy, and the story of how I found him is actually really simple. We were in a room of people and I said “AB” or “cgl” out loud as a joke because we were talking about kinks, I thought that no one would know what I was talking about, and I was right, expect for my future daddy.
The point I’m trying to make is that I never really set out to find a caregiver. I knew I was little and thought that maybe one day I would have a daddy. But I just sort of fell in love with him by accident, and then found out he was into ddlg. I’m sure I was just lucky and most people will have to introduce the topic to their partners and see if they are interested in being a caregiver.

But anyway to actually answer your question; traits that a potential partner would have that (assuming I was single) I would look for include:

⭐️Easy going and not judgemental (with a “to each his own” outlook)
⭐️Kind and understanding of different opinions and perspectives
⭐️ Some important values, opinions, and interests that we both share
⭐️ A caring but sort of empowering vibe (like a dom vibe, some people may lean more towards people with really gentle vibes too)
⭐️ light hearted and playful, including a good sense of humour

Anyway I’m not too picky when it comes to finding partners, and as I said before I wouldn’t necessarily be looking for a caregiver specifically if I was single.
Hope this helps somewhat,
Best wishes <3
Lena
#51181
What are some points to look for when trying to find a Daddy / Mommy / Caregiver who is serious about their role?

- A Caregiver naturally embodies their role. There is no such thing as “Caregiverspace”, where a Caregiver is selective of the times and moments where they wish to be their Little’s carer.

(Not to confuse with giving space. Occasionally people need some time to breathe and relax within relationships. As an analogy: Parents of bio-babies need to take breaks and rest so that they can recoup and regain energy to continue on with their care.)

- A Caregiver should care about the level of engagement of their Little. It is perfectly okay to not offer a relationship if one party is more into the lifestyle than the other.

- A Caregiver does not feel like their lifestyle is a choice, but rather, a set of personality traits that naturally reflect their need to feel needed.

- A “Caregiver” that has no spine in preferences (that is very maleable about what they like and dislike at any given time) is oftentimes not even a true Caregiver at all. Expecting their Little to change according to mood or flip-flopping between ideas (Example: wanting their Little to suck on a bottle but then wanting their Little to do chores) are not congruent, and do not reflect the same interest that a bio-parent would have in their bio-child.)

- A Caregiver naturally shows interest in all aspects of their Little’s life.

What do you feel are positive indicators that a Caregiver type has a passion for or special interest in taking care of a little?

- A Caregiver that has participated in the community and has been eager to learn more about what the community is and what information it has to offer. (Optional, but heavily recommended. Oftentimes people naturally exercise their parental instincts without really being aware of there being a community.)

- A Caregiver that is aware that there are products for Littles and Adult Babies that reaffirm the existence of the lifestyle. And, as a Caregiver, has preferences within those products to best suit their Little or future Little. (Example, our Mommy has extensively researched all AB products, and has a strong preference towards cloth diapers).

- A Caregiver that knows what it means to be a parent to a Little within certain age group. A Caregiver that prefers an Adult Infant (regression age of 0-9 months) will not feel like their role is at all similar to say a Little (regression age 5-8 years). With that said, a Caregiver may have certain preference towards a regression age group, which will in turn solidify their feelings toward their role.

- A Caregiver that wishes to remove as many responsibilities and roadblocks for their Little to flourish and exercise their regression age. If impossible to remove all obstacles, a Caregiver will make the best effort to leverage their Little’s responsibilities and compensate for commitments that make the Little not feel like they are a Little. (Example, if a Little needs to work to help out with expenses, a Caregiver will make sure to make work feel less like a chore and more like an activity that the Little is doing a good job on. “Good job today, sweetie! [Caregiver] is proud of you today. Let’s get you out of those icky work clothes and get you a change and some nice warm fuzzy pajamas.”)

What points do you think probably help a person take on the Caregiver role in full?

- Deep understanding of the possibilities of a CG/L relationship. There is so much more to regression than simply wearing cute clothes and playing games and coloring. The dynamic can bleed into every aspect of a relationship, and it is not confined by any set of activities. (Example: diapers can be worn at all times and diaper changes can occur in many more spaces than people think, as long as they are in private areas and not involving any unwilling third party.)

- The recognition that a Little can remain a Litle for life. A Little should provide the confidence to their Caregiver that the lifestyle they express is not a simple choice. The lifestyle is a rooted personality trait that can be lived out forever.

What have you personally seen a Caregiver have about themselves that contributed toward their care for littles?

- A remote job (or any job that allows togetherness). Having so makes Little care available at all times. If not, a job that allows constant communication helps feel their Little like they are always there.

- Finances. Being a Caregiver is a serious role, and there should be expectation that money will be put into the lifestyle.

- Drive. Really, it shouldn’t cost the Caregiver any energy that they are not willing to spend.

- Experience. Experience contributes in solidifying preferences and standing within the community.
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