- 2 months ago
Maybe try to think less "How do I get my partner to do what I want them to do?" and more "WHY is my partner not doing what they know I want them to do and what they told me they also enjoy with me?" I think maybe to start there.
Sounds kind of like a big deal now, doesn't it? Bigger than you just not getting your way and having to deal with that, right?
If your partner already knows that you love it when he treats you like a little child, dotes on you, acts parental with you, and particpates in your regression regularly...AND you've given him easy situations where he can participate and be your active Daddy at times (even if only online right now)...AND he's expressed a mutual interest in doing these things...BUT he isn't doing it then he is probably not happy. Not necessarily "not happy with you" but maybe somewhere else in his life. He is probably not in a good situation in some way. This could be a a really bad time for your Daddy.
Maybe stop saying "I'm so deprived of being babied and it's so hard! How can I get my way so I'm happy or what can I do so I'm not so deprived feeling?!" and more "My partner must be upset since they aren't fully participating in our special times together as much as they did before! How can I help my partner so that we can be happy together again?!" This means that it might be time for you to actually help him and show him that he is important to you for more than just the Daddy thing. That's pretty cool to me. Maybe it's just your first relationship challenge to work together!
Since you've already done the "regress in front of him to encourage him to participate" thing then I think this points more toward his personal life outside of his relationship with you. I mean if the relationship is otherwise healthy and happy then it isn't you and it isn't regression.
I would investigate stressors in his life and try to help him reduce that sort of tension that may be holding him back from feeling carefree and relaxed as much as he can. Caring for someone is soothing, relaxing and if you're really very worried, stressed out, anxious, or depressed then it can be hard to find the joy in doing things that are fulfilling.
Maybe sit down with him and have a partner to partner talk with him. Let him know you've noticed that he hasn't seemed as relaxed lately as he had previously been and you wanted to ask him how things are going for him in his life. Ask if maybe he's stressed or depressed or maybe if something is going on he'd like to talk about with you. Reassure him that you're his partner and someone safe he can tell even bad things to. You are a part of his support system!
If he tells you he's depressed or anxious or worried or whatever might emotionally not be okay then it's okay to encourage him to see a therapist and let him know that it's okay for him to have a support system too. He doesn't have to be superhuman just because he's a Daddy or a man or a whatever he thinks might mean he needs to be more than just the average guy trying to have a good life. Otherwise maybe there are some ways he can use your help in problem solving or something and you can take a little load off his shoulders
If he insists that nothing is wrong then remind him that IF something does come up then you're safe to talk to and will still care about him and support his happiness. That you aren't going to leave just because he has bad days.
It COULD be the wanting physical touch thing but I'd say that's probably not it since it sounds like it was a sudden drop off. But you could help that out a little bit by making more firm plans that will help him have something to look forward to. Make plans on when you'll meet and where and talk about what casual things you two will do together when you initially meet so he can help plan it and have something great to imagine and all. It will hopefully feel more real and less vague and like he'll never get to hold you. Maybe also try to set special "date nights" where maybe you two something you don't usually do together like maybe a special movie or cam time or just something that maybe can make him feel like you're at least physically closer?
Last... do ask him if you regressing so much so often is putting too much stress on him right now. Maybe he's going through a lot of work stress or family drama and adding a new relationship PLUS a new identity of being a Daddy to that is just too much and you need to schedule these things more for a little while or something. Ask. Talk to him. Open up these communication channels! Ask him questions about himself! Ask him how you can help him, what you can do for him. At some point you'll bump into the rock and you two can move it together instead of him thinking he's going at it all alone