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My boyfriend knows that ddlg is something that's vey important to me so he tried to be my daddy for a couple weeks but i could tell it just isn't his thing and that he was only doing it for my benefit so i asked if he'd prefer just being my boyfriend instead of my caregiver. He said yes and honestly, i'm really really really sad and scared about it. I feel like I need that dynamic in a relationship. It makes me uncomfortable to be in a "normal" relationship with him but i really really adore him so i want to make it work. I'm afraid that having him just as a boyfriend again will make it feel less intimate to me. Does anyone have tips on how I can function as a little and still be in this relationship? I'm afraid of losing my little self or putting a negative connotation to it. I don't know how to word this question. I'm just really lost. I feel so discouraged. If you have ANY tips on how to make this work, i'd appreciate it.
You said in your post that you need the dynamic in a relationship and that you're uncomfortable in a "normal" relationship with him... That's pretty cut and dried right there.
Unless you're very good at compartmentalizing (which is not even always a good thing), you're very likely going to want things from him that he's not comfortable with or able to give you and it's going to create conflict over time.
Now, I am polyam, so my take on this is to get your need of a CG met elsewhere, on whatever level works for you, but I know that's not for everyone. Can you be little everywhere other than your primary relationship? Sure. Will you be happy that way? Only you can say.
Me and my daddy have been taking it slow. We have been in the bdsm community for 3 years...but I never felt truly comfortable until we started our did/lg relationship like a month ago. But we are taking things very slow and I think that might be an option for you. Cause it’s not going to be good for the relationship if you have to hide the little part of you..no matter how fond you are of him. Maybe start with seeing if he wants to color with you, or watch a Disney movie with you, maybe play dress up for him...stuff like that. And gradually add more to the relationship. It’s all about compromise...but please don’t stop being little.
That's a tough one...i tried to convert my ex of 11 years from vanilla to my little... she did really good for 3 months and then she fell apart...it prolly woulda worked if i was only gonna allow her to be a bottom...but i live this lifestyle 24/7 and that's what did us in