[jupitari]

hi, im currently with a girl and shes a little, but inside i know that im a little, i dont know how to tell her, shes the kind of person that would get her way in any way, im afraid that if i tell her that she'll break up with me, what should i do?

[CosmianAndNovella]

We would need more context to fully know what’s going on.

How do you know she’s a Little? Has she told you about it? What role does it play in your relationship? Are you in any way her caregiver, or just understanding of her personality trait? Did you find out you are a Little before or after you discovered she was a Little?

We know those are a lot of heavy questions, but they must be answered for you to find the right way to proceed.

The first thing that comes to mind from your post is that we don’t think it’s healthy to hold secrets in your relationship, especially not a big part of your personality such as being a Little. A deserving partner is whom is willing to accept their partner. Otherwise, partnership doesn’t really work.

We hate to be pessimistic about it, but this probably rings true. If you’re afraid that she’ll leave you because of coming out as a Little, then perhaps she isn’t the right fit for you. And it also isn’t very fair to keep such a big secret to yourself, because relationships are based on trust.

Think about this: at this point, she doesn’t fully know who you are, and she’s only in a relationship with a part of who you are. She at the very least deserves to know the truth about you, who you are and all! (Assuming you are together not by special circumstances, such as an arranged marriage).

With all that realist negativity aside, the answer to your first question is very straightforward. A Little can have a good relationship with another Little. Plain and simple. A part of relationships are compromises. We don’t see why not you can each compromise to each other to find the right balance, the right times for you two to be Littles. You could share Littlespace time, or alternate, or find whatever arrangements suit you the best.

As for the second question, that is heavily dependent on the context you’re in. The questions we posed earlier come heavily into play, as there is not one single way to come out to somebody, to a partner in this case.

We would suggest that you start a conversation with her talking about her Littlespace. Questions such as “what does being a Little mean to you?”, “how do you feel as a Little?”, “what makes you identify as a Little?” Then you can smoothly switch the focus onto yourself, giving answer to the questions you posed, to give light exposure of your feelings and thoughts.

Find the proper time and space where you are receptive and you can have her attention. This would be a time for you two, not just yourself. It takes two to make a relationship.

Just remember that you have value. Your heart and your mind are important. Your dreams and desires are perfectly acceptable and you should pursue them as long as they’re not unethical.

If possible, answer the questions so we can personalize the help we have to offer.

We wish nothing but the very best to you and your partner!