[fluffyfox]

I really think that my mommy would love being treated like a little. I mean there's a lot of times since we've started dating that she talks and acts like a toddler. I don't know how to ask her if she'd want to let me take care of her like she does for me. I want her to get the chance to have that safe, cared for feeling you get as the little in the relationship. Don't get me wrong I love being treated like a little, but she's always so stressed and I think it could help her to melt that stress away.

[CosmianAndNovella]

Hello fluffy!

First, we would like to suggest you bring this topic up to her! If she acts like a toddler at times, then there may be a big topic that you need to discuss with her. You shouldn’t automatically assume that she needs to be taken care of the way she does for you, because she may not feel the need for that! It is important that you two are on the same page, especially since you have a partnership. You each are owed honesty and communication. Perhaps you can find a way of asking her why she acts the way she does, and how does she feel about it? That should come first before assuming any other role/responsibility.

We are neither relationship or communication experts, so our input here may or may not be valid. We would think that the best way to bring the subject up to her would be during a moment where there is the least amount of noise, that you are both receptive and open, and not currently engaging in any activity that may move the focus away. Not being confrontational, but rather sweet and tactful and understanding. And also preparing to have a possibly deep and meaning conversation, but perhaps not expecting much. It sounds like a touchy subject, so maybe she won’t be comfortable in opening up all at once?

After setting up a conversation time and making sure everything is set for exchange, we suggest starting off with an insightful but reassuring remark, like “[ I ] love you very much, and [ I ] noticed that you are acting a little bit like [ me ], regressing a bit. Have you ever noticed that? What do you think? [ I ] don’t think that it’s bad at all! [ I ] just love you enough to notice it and to try to be the very best for you, as much as [ I ] can.”

As the conversation goes on, stay open on her point of view and reassuring that her perspective is valid and valued. But also don’t be afraid to tell how you think and feel. Of course, it would be best if you prepared your thoughts and feelings before conversation took place, to provide certainty and clarity of your point of view and allow her to express her own point of view.

Secondly, although your intentions seem to be sweet and loving and supportive, we don’t really see why the roles have to be polarizing. Just because you potentially discovered that she’s a Little doesn’t mean that you’re automatically her Caregiver. It sounds really great that you’re being thoughtful and thinking about her wellbeing and happiness. However, we see that sort of arrangement being perhaps a bit too drastic and could potentially put too much strain in the relationship.

We will reiterate that we definitely recommend bringing the subject matter up with her before making any decisions. We also want to point out that if she were to be a Little, that wouldn’t invalidate your standing as a Little yourself. It wouldn’t have to force you into the role of a Caregiver either.

We’d personally think that better compromises could be found instead of just jumping into a dynamic that’s almost the opposite of what is currently active. For example, perhaps you two could engage as Littles at the same time! Here’s a little quote than we remembered from this topic: “Being a dominant little...?”

In particular:

Older Brothers/Big Brothers and Older Sisters/Big Sisters exist as valid identities, but I feel like they are more of a rarer identity right now. Generally, the Older/Big Sibling role does involve a level of being regressed (or in littlespace as people say now) but still being capable of taking care of another person who is regressed too at the time. So, they may perform diaper changes or set rules/structure but are also possibly interactive in playing the same games and performing the same activities as their little sibling. They may or may not be as young feeling as their little sibling but are certainly more comfortable with the idea of being the person "in charge".

If possible, give us a little more insight on your situation! We don’t particularly like giving out help making assumptions. Is public conversation!

We really hope that you can find out for yourself how your Mommy feels, and that a proper compromise can be found to have all-around happiness!

[LittleLady317]

Hello
As a mommy switch myself I can tell you that sometimes the switch can be hard. I'm 95% mommy and 5% little girl.. Having a strong partner who is open and understanding helps. You must love your mommy very much to want to do this for her. I can not speak for her but in my personal experience I love being a mommy! Its amazing to feel so loved, needed and wanted all the time! Hearing him call me mommy makes my heart truly melt! The switch came when I was under extreme stress. In my need to be consoled my little man offered a game to mommy. He would play Daddy and I could lean on him as his little until I found my strength back. It meant a lot to me that he would put being little on hold to hold me a while. Made us stronger if anything. We still play that game when I'm feeling small. I've even asked him to play before instead of waiting. Maybe you could offer that way or if its not full time when your in big boy mode. Hope it helps. Again. I have no idea about how she feels. Neither do you if you don't ask.