Hi, I am over 50 trans little ftm, but gender fluid now. low dose "T" so minor change.
I realised I was FTM about 2 years ago. I recently had top surgery, and finally big breasts all gone. Just nipples and flat chest.
I think that helped me realise I was "little" and maybe not just FTM.
I always connected the need to not have breasts with my male side, but with them finally gone, I feel more "little" and non gendered if that makes sense to anyone. It does to me. I was reading stuff on line and it just started to click. I had fantasized about wetting my pants, and looked on line, and found "little" info. Then read about diapers. So I bought some adult pull-ups. One try and I was in Heaven! I always have been called very youthfull, and was a tom-boy, but never connected the two. Alone in my bed, padded, wetting my diaper, I happily regressed and also to thumb sucking (something I do a lot at night but always hid from others as was punished a child for it). I was amazed when I looked down at my now flat chest. I looked "little"
and I felt so Happy!
I have a Daddy, he was my boyfriend, and has been experimenting as my Dom because it works better than traditional bf/gf. He was standing by me through FTM as my bf and as my friend through my transition, but is CIS heterosexual man, and it was crapshoot as to when and if he would stop finding me attractive as he is not bi. He was fine with the top surgery though, and afterwards very supportive. I moved in with him last month. We fought a lot until we shifted to a D/s relationship. I am submissive and he was repressed Dom. Dom/sub felt better, but when I discovered Dd/lg(b) we tried that. Bingo! He can be Dom, and also nurture. This is new to him too, and fits better. He loves taking care of me in a more cuddly way. Also I discovered joy of wearing diapers, and the freedom to "let go" of control even more. I only do peepee though, and it's still new too. I was feeling scared about growing face hair and losing my hair as FTM. and I think it's an adventure to try on different things and lifestyles to find ourselves. I love my flat chest, it makes me feel littler. I love that my boyfriend is willing to explore. We are both over 50, been married, divorced, and our kids are grown up. We also have been friends for over 30 years, so that helps.
Not sure if any of this is helpful, but I find so much i read helps me. I wish everyone the best. Don't give up! Patience with ourselves, and be willing to keep flexing your boundaries until you find the perfect fit. I'm still playing with all the possibilities. I don't have job yet, he has good job here in this new town. I clean house and cook, etc. while he is at work. When he comes home I'm little, and now he wants me maybe not to get a job
I Love being at home diapered and little. I used to feel weird when he called me little girl, but now my breasts are gone, I feel less pressure internally to be so male.
little boy, big heart
- By AventurineLe