1. Participate in the community in more than just match-making posts and dating discussions. Let your personality show by sharing the knowledge you do have with other members posting questions and by actively using the chat room. Make yourself known as a caring, loving, and compassionate friend. You will catch the eyes of other people who end up being a better match for you than you would've imagined. Many times casual friendships develop into serious, close friendships that blossom into long-term relationships.How do I find a partner that's into Caregiver/little aspects?
2. Use actual kink-friendly dating sites. Many of them. All of them. Post up your personal ads, read through ones already posted, and actively check those sites frequently. Here is the current known list of them:
3. Be prepared to be patient because even vanilla-based relationships are difficult to find an appropriate, suitable match. Sometimes even vanilla couples take years to find each other. This is very common. There are a reason why dating sites are flooded with singles of all ages. Finding a special someone makes them special to you because they should be seen as rare and very valuable, as if they were specifically compatible to you for you. You aren't going to just find that left and right so patience greatly pays off.
4. Do not focus on dating, dating, dating or you will lose your personality and risk pairing yourself with someone just for the sake of being with someone. Sometimes it's better to separate your focus so you're not so down about not being matched yet. Your relationship status does not define who you are in or outside of this community. Split your own attention on healthy hobbies and activities separate from finding a relationship.
5. Know what you want and need, know that you will need to tell prospective partners those things up front, know that you need to know your own limits, know what you can and cannot compromise about, know that dating requires an immense amount of patience and that falling in love requires even more. Don't settle for the sake of settling, and don't force a relationship to bloom before it's ready.
6. You will fail many times, but know that this is not impossible. That's why you're dating and not doing something like jumping into a legally-bound arrangement like marriage. Be ready to get to know someone to the point where you realize they are not your special someone after all. Accept this fact and let them go when you realize it instead of hanging onto what you wish they would be for you. Hanging on to someone who isn't meant to be with you only sets you up to take longer in finding the right one(s).
* Bonus tip: Realize that most of these tips blend so closely together that they could've ultimately be one long-winded tip.