I'm so sorry to hear that..~ I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. I hope you know you aren't alone... I think one thing I've learned for myself is that it's difficult to get outside one's box but terribly important
Erm, for instance, getting into new communities and finding people to talk to who can understand you. It's really nice having friends who understand the little side of you and I think maybe it would help you
I really am so sorry and I know you must feel lonely while you grieve but you don't have to be alone and are not alone.