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#51056
Do you think someone who regresses is that person at the core of who they are or do you think it's just something they choose to do to relieve stress or have fun? Do you think there are some people who were born little and have been forced to age due to biological factors with their body aging and pressure to mature?
#51092
hihi~

I would say this is different for everyone.

Some littles would say that they are always “little” is some way, they have a childish heart, and they feel it is a large part of who they are. This could be true for people who are into the ddlg BeDeeSeM lifestyle, and also for non physically intimate age regressors.

Other littles would say that it is purely a fun hobby to roleplay and get into a more childish headspace, or they simply find it relaxing to light up their inner child every now and then, as a way of coping with stress, or for a ddlg dynamic or otherwise.

I personally think that being childish sometimes is a part of who I am, and I let that manifest into littlespace.

Hope that made sense :)
Best wishes <3
Lena
#51093
It's who somebody is at their core.

It's their personality.

It should never be considered simply a way to relieve stress or have fun. It's not a hobby or a "side" of someone. Those are from people who are misidentifying themselves as belonging in a community they do not actually belong within. In the community they're really labeled as "fake" but I don't think they're malicious. I think they just don't understand who the REAL littles are and how it isn't easy being little, it isn't a choice to just be a little. It really has nothing to do with "having fun" but I get why that confuses people.

I'm guessing that a large portion of the visible/active "littles" online are only "playing a game" or "playing as a character" to "relieve stress" or "have fun" in their spare time and not necessarily identifying (key word) as being this personal identity. They are not actually little. They are just regular adult people doing dumb things kids do because they're stressed out and found an easy or fun way to cope. Every adult experiences stress, and every adult has to find ways to cope with that.

I think if you ask any "vanilla" adult to be honest about the ways they relieve stress then you'd be surprised at how many childish or teenage behaviors they would list off. It's because kids are free to have fun and not take much seriously. Even coloring books for adults have become popular as a way many adults relieve stress. It does not mean these "vanilla" people are littles. In psychology this is completely normal behavior if not excessive or overtaking of one's life.

It's sorta like a crossdresser who says he's a straight cis male who just likes to crossdress on the weekends out of it being a weird quirky stress reliever. It's "fun" but he does not want to change genders or crossdress all of time so it's not a part of the person's identity. He would not be welcome to label himself as "transgender" just because he occasionally wears atypical clothing as a stress relief. Crossdressing may be a part of someone's transition when they identify as transgender but crossdressing doesn't make someone transgender. It's just something they often do. It's an activity of leisure for them. It is still within typical standards from a psychological perspective.

Just because the person crossdresses sometimes doesn't make that person belong to a community where that behavior is extremely common and a form of internal self expression. To the people within that actual community crossdressing is not as a form of stress relief, but still a way stress is automatically relieved by the actual transgender person being able to dress freely as a form of their internal self identity and expression while still be accepted as they would like to be acknowledged. Lots of trangender people feel elated when they "pass" to the gender public and it reduces their stress and anxiety to finally be recognized for who they've always been on the inside. That's massively differently than simple crossdressing for fun.

Need it broken down further? Ok!

Joe doesn't become a transgender person because he wears make-up and frilly clothes while calling himself Jazzy Jessibelle 2 Fridays out of the month while firmly identifying himself as a straight cis man. He deems the crossing behavior as "fun" though. And that's okay! But Joe is NOT a transgender person. He is not a part of the transgendered community.

Jack is a transgendered person because Jack was born with female anatomy/genitalia according to a doctor and given the birthname of Janet, under the social expectations that "Janet" would be female and transition from girl to woman as the body she was born into matured. Jack realized that the identity "Janet" was invalid though and it has become a deadname to the actual person who later named himself Jack. Jack dresses masculine according to societal expectations of males and as a form of self-expression, and regularly goes by the name Jack. While it may be fun to finally get to live as his true internal-identity, Jack does not see it as "just being fun" or "a way to relieve stress". Jack transitioned/transitioning from being born as female to now identifying as a male. Jack is a transgendered person. He is a part of the transgendered community!

Relate it to littles? Ok!

Sue doesn't become a little because she likes coloring in coloring books and has an atypical attachment to the comfort of sleeping with a stuffed bear she got from her grandpa when she was biologically 6 years old. Sue doesn't become a little because she likes paintballing on the weekend or playing with NERF guns when she can get by with it in her office. Sue eats Kraft macaroni and cheese dinner twice a week but Sue is not a little. Sue is the average American woman who's just trying to mix in a little carefree "fun" in her life, and likes indulging in quick, easy meals because she's strapped on time a few nights a week after long work shifts. Sue is not a part of the cgl community.

Mary is a little because Mary identifies herself as relating more to the biological age expectations and thought processes of a young person about 5-7 years old. She often reacts exactly as a child that age range would, and does not feel equipped or capable of handling many adult responsibilities that she is expected to face as a biologically 30 year old woman. Mary feels lost as an adult, and is often misplaced from her biological peers due to her naivety, disinterest in typical adult activities, and difficulty in relating to their "boring" talk about their families. Mary's sister convinced her to take an IQ test before and it said she was of average intelligence, but left on her own she resorts back to things she did, ate, talked about, and enjoyed from her childhood because she can't figure out what else to say or do. She finds herself constantly in need of external guidance and structure. She eats Kraft macaroni and cheese dinner a few times a week because it's microwavable, she doesn't feel confident cooking, and because she remembers how it was her favorite food when she was a kid so she atypically places feelings of "safety" and "happiness" on the food. Maintaining her adult persona is challenging, overwhelming, and confusing most of the time, and Mary wishes she could be with her "mental peers" again who are biologically between 5-7 years old. Mary is a little and is a part of the cgl community!

Mary wants to be identified as a child again because it's most comfortable and just feels right just like Jack wants to be identified as the gender his birth body did not reflect at one point.

Driving a race car is a hobby. For someone who does NASCAR racing, it is a "side" of who they are, but it is not WHO they are as a personal identity. It's their career path and a lifestyle choice to take on the dangers of driving at high speeds.
Something you do is NOT "be little".
Being a little is WHO you are. Not WHAT you do.

SO...real littlespace is an identity. Being a little is identifying your internal self. It's who you are on the inside, and how you are different than social expectations.
It's not a "lifestyle" choice or "side of a person" and certainly not a "fun thing to do" or something somebody just does.
#51115
Hi, I disagree a lot of what this comment suggests, and I would like to pull it apart a bit if I may. I mean no offence to the author of the post and I am just trying to get my opinion across, not start an argument or anything like that. I love and appreciate all of you, best wishes <3


“It's who somebody is at their core.
It's their personality.”

being a little can be part of ones personality, but not necessarily the whole core of their personality.
For example, a transgender person considers their trans identity as a part of them, not who they are as a whole, there are multiple sides and parts of ones personality. Saying that any one thing could take up the whole of who they are is saying something kind of impossible. Someone could identify as a little, and also identify as many other unrelated things.

“It should never be considered simply a way to relieve stress or have fun. It's not a hobby or a "side" of someone”

Some age regressors simply choose to participate in the activities they do, because it makes them feel good... BeDeeSeM and ddlg also can just simply be a hobby that you are your partner participate in to strengthen the relationship or D/s.
There is also a thing called “forced age regression” in BeDeeSeM, where it’s more of a form of humiliation-play to be pushed into a childish headspace. This is a smaller part of the community, yes, but it’s still there.

“Those are from people who are misidentifying themselves as belonging in a community they do not actually belong within. In the community they're really labeled as "fake" but I don't think they're malicious.”

You can’t misidentify yourself as a little really... anyone can age regress, age play, and participate in ddlg for whatever reason they like, whether they feel it’s more of a personality trait or something that is relaxing or fun. Labeling people as “fake” littles and saying they do not belong in the community is basically the equivalent of gatekeeping, and it could really hurt some people’s feelings, and feel like they are not accepted.

“I think they just don't understand who the REAL littles are and how it isn't easy being little, it isn't a choice to just be a little. “

As stated above, the idea that there are “fake” and “real” littles is harmful to the community.

Whilst it true that some people do not choose to be little, and it’s somewhat inherent. I believe that others may choose to regress and ageplay for a variety of reasons. These people should still be accepted as part of the community.

“I'm guessing that a large portion of the visible/active "littles" online are only "playing a game" or "playing as a character" to "relieve stress" or "have fun" in their spare time and not necessarily identifying (key word) as being this personal identity. They are not actually little.”

Ageplay, by nature (and by the word “play) is about playing a role. Yes, for some it is far more than that and it is part of their identity, but for others it is not. Like Petplay, some people just do this for fun.

[Mary]”does not feel equipped or capable of handling many adult responsibilities that she is expected to face as a biologically 30 year old woman. Mary feels lost as an adult, and is often misplaced from her biological peers due to her naivety, disinterest in typical adult activities, and difficulty in relating to their "boring" talk about their families.......She finds herself constantly in need of external guidance and structure..........Maintaining her adult persona is challenging, overwhelming, and confusing most of the time, and Mary wishes she could be with her "mental peers" again who are biologically between 5-7 years old. Mary is a little and is a part of the cgl community......“Mary wants to be identified as a child again because it's most comfortable and just feels right just like Jack wants to be identified as the gender his birth body did not reflect at one point”

Although we as littles feel and act the way a child does. We are adults and most of us live as adults for the majority of the time we aren’t in littlespace. Although a lot of us sometimes have trouble hiding our little sides and childish behaviour when it’s not appropriate in society, that does not mean we aren’t capable functioning as adults. Most of us aren’t in a constant struggle against society to accept us not conforming with expected adult behaviour. Also, to want to be identified and treated as an actual child... is something strange. To be socially, let alone legally identified as a child would remove a lot of our privileges. If you seriously feel like you can’t function easily without society recognising you as a child, then that’s something to be worried about in my opinion.
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