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#13053
I just feel the need to write about a few things I've been thinking about and that has caused my heart to break twice in say six months.

While skimming through this section you can get the feeling that mental issues/struggles/diagnoses is quite common among littles. And my not very long experience as a daddy has made me think the same thing.

At the end of last year I bumped into a girl online and we started talking and started a sort of improvised ddlg relationship. Long distance. It was my first and it was nonsexual. She was a more experienced little though and taught me a bit about it. Anyway... She was a very unhappy girl. And one late night she called me on skype saying she was ending it and wanted to say thank you and goodbye. And I had to lie there listening to her die on me while I screamed and pleaded. Imagine being a dom and have all control stripped from you and not be able so save someone you care about. It crushed me into a wet puddle.

Well, a few months after that I met another girl. I wasn't really looking to get into another ddlg relationship, but when you meet the right one, how can you say no? This time I was more prepared and we did everything by the book sort of. And I fell in love. We both did I guess. She had bpd, anxiety problems, eating disorder... And it didn't scare me really, I thought we could handle it and she had medical help as well. It was also long distance btw.
Well, to tell it short, a few weeks ago she sent me a suicide note and blocked me on every channel we communicated on. I still don't know if she's alive or not. All roads are blocked. I'm thinking that the fact that she blocked me is a sign that she's alive. Hopefully.

I'm a strong guy, I can take an emotional beating, but things like this gets to you. It scars your soul. And truthfully it's starting to scare me away from getting into another relationship with a little. Three strikes and you're out, right? I don't know if I'll be able to come out alive if something like that happened to me again.

Ugh, I don't really know if there's a question in here somewhere or not. I just have a shitty day and feel like snailpoop.

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By SallyMander
#13062
Reading this makes me feel a little gut punched...I'm so sorry that happened to you. Twice!
It happens on the other side too...being dropped by your daddy is terrible. I wish people could just be honest with each other and talk about issues before they become bigger issues, like abandonment. :(



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#13076
[HEAVY BLACK HEART]️[HEAVY BLACK HEART]️[HEAVY BLACK HEART]️
Thank you for your kind reply

Yea the last year hasn't been kind lol, my closest friend died in her sleep a couple of months before that first suicide...

Life can really find ways to kick you in the balls. Again and again.

The worst thing is to be so powerless and not be able to do anything. I would have set the world on fire for both of them.

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#13094
Me ish bery sowie about all the bad I know how yew feel I've wost 2 daddies die to suicide I suffer with depression and I recently learns I have other health problems that can really take my life and it has inspired me to get better. I just hope u don't give up just try keep ur head up and one day yew find a person who will make ur mend your heart have a great day
Xoxo kitty :)

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#13102
Curlywittlepwincess wrote:Me ish bery sowie about all the bad I know how yew feel I've wost 2 daddies die to suicide I suffer with depression and I recently learns I have other health problems that can really take my life and it has inspired me to get better. I just hope u don't give up just try keep ur head up and one day yew find a person who will make ur mend your heart have a great day
Xoxo kitty :)
I'm so sorry for you too Kitty... It's good to have a place like this where you can get support. Thank you for that.

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#13105
Mandelstam76 wrote:
Curlywittlepwincess wrote:Me ish bery sowie about all the bad I know how yew feel I've wost 2 daddies die to suicide I suffer with depression and I recently learns I have other health problems that can really take my life and it has inspired me to get better. I just hope u don't give up just try keep ur head up and one day yew find a person who will make ur mend your heart have a great day
Xoxo kitty :)
I'm so sorry for you too Kitty... It's good to have a place like this where you can get support. Thank you for that.

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You're welcome and it's ok I've learned to deal with it. Hope everything is ok with you
Xoxo kitty :)

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#50017
I'm so sorry. That's a terrible and frightening experience. I also want to let you know that if you know where a little lives you can send emergency personnel to them to do a wellness check. Or you can call 911 and send an ambulance over. I dont know if people know this but when people say they are going to kill themselves, you can find out where they are and send help. They will be furious with you but they will be alive.

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#50052
I had a CG do that to me. Call me. Leave me. I couldn't hang up because I couldn't leave them. But had to call for help. I don't know what happened. Rather the police got there or not or if they're even alive. It hurts deep. You never forget. I still hear it in my sleep. I don't sleep well usually. It sucks. I'm sorry for you.

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