- 6 years ago
#41920
I suffer with Manic Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mild Anxiety and several other wonderful issues.. But today, I'm here to seek advice on something related to CG/L, or at least relating to it..
In my time as a Caregiver (while I was actually taken by a Little, not while I was/am searching) I experienced many new emotions and feelings, some of which I had been lacking before, or had desperately needed, despite not knowing of their existence. I felt useful, that I was wanted, needed, that I had purpose and was not useless, along with that, the rest of the snailpoop and stress in my life just blurred into the background; the depression, the financial stress, even the constant fear of eviction had been reduced to a dull ache. After my Little left with another guy, I fell into disarray, feeling that I was nothing, completely unwanted and unneeded, that kinda firetrucked me up.. I sort of need to be there for someone, because in having someone else rely upon me, it gives me a sense of stability, of self-belief, things that I simply don't have usually.
Since becoming a Caregiver, I've developed a sort of usefulness complex, if that makes sense.. But my issue is, that it primarily applies to CG/L and having a Little to care for, protect and give all my love to. Unfortunately without that, all my other issues come back twice as hard, and I struggle to cope with them, often I have huge breakdowns, and they are absolute chaos
Does anyone else here have the same or a similar issue, if so, do you have any advice?
(For the record: I'm seeking help through counselling agencies and such, but as we all know, half of the time, they don't actually know what they're on about)
In my time as a Caregiver (while I was actually taken by a Little, not while I was/am searching) I experienced many new emotions and feelings, some of which I had been lacking before, or had desperately needed, despite not knowing of their existence. I felt useful, that I was wanted, needed, that I had purpose and was not useless, along with that, the rest of the snailpoop and stress in my life just blurred into the background; the depression, the financial stress, even the constant fear of eviction had been reduced to a dull ache. After my Little left with another guy, I fell into disarray, feeling that I was nothing, completely unwanted and unneeded, that kinda firetrucked me up.. I sort of need to be there for someone, because in having someone else rely upon me, it gives me a sense of stability, of self-belief, things that I simply don't have usually.
Since becoming a Caregiver, I've developed a sort of usefulness complex, if that makes sense.. But my issue is, that it primarily applies to CG/L and having a Little to care for, protect and give all my love to. Unfortunately without that, all my other issues come back twice as hard, and I struggle to cope with them, often I have huge breakdowns, and they are absolute chaos
Does anyone else here have the same or a similar issue, if so, do you have any advice?
(For the record: I'm seeking help through counselling agencies and such, but as we all know, half of the time, they don't actually know what they're on about)
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