- 6 years ago
#38097
****Possible trigger warning, nothing very specific; insensitive comments made by another person regarding weight****
I wasn't sure exactly where to put this, I'm kinda still a bit confused about what goes where in topics and stuff, heh. But I'm feeling kinda confused, and weird, and just....icky. I went onto my that one fet community website account, and saw a message from someone. I glanced at their profile and saw some fairly insensitive comments about weight, I don't really want to go into a ton of detail, but basically he said he doesn't prefer 'bigger women, or fat females'. I've struggled with bulimia and anorexia for more than half my life, and weight is a majorly sensitive topic for me. My weight drops and rises depending on where I'm at with eating, and at this moment in time, it's at a bit of a higher point - something that is already hard for me to deal with. Seeing the word fat triggered a lot of stuff, so my mind went a bit crazy. So I replied to the person's message a bit reactively, saying, 'I might be considered 'fat' by some people's standards, I'm sorry.' [Cough, my standards, especially.] He answered with this long, long, loooong message, and now I just feel a bit sick. I don't want to post the entire response, but here are a few of the....'highlights'. 'Although I do prefer thin women, I have played with fat ones'. 'Your youth could easily make up for your being overweight.' 'You don't look huge in your two posted photos.' 'Also, you state that you "might be considered to be fat by some people's standards," leading me to think that you are not enormous.'
In response, I basically said that I felt really uncomfortable, and pointed out the same things as above. I still feel kind of sick, and uncertain about what I said. I always feel bad saying no to people, and highly uncomfortable in doing so. I rarely even go on that one fet community website because I highly prefer talking to and getting to know people on here, and am not looking to fet for a relationship. But his was a message I couldn't ignore.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, or what I'm even looking for, I just had to like...say it, or something. Because I'm literally nauseous and shaky right now, and sigh. I feel confused and uncomfortable, and teary, and just weird. I don't even know if my response was right, etc etc etc. Eeek, lowkey panic. Okie. Anyways.
Sorry for this message being kinda long, and I really hope it's okay to have written and put here.
I wasn't sure exactly where to put this, I'm kinda still a bit confused about what goes where in topics and stuff, heh. But I'm feeling kinda confused, and weird, and just....icky. I went onto my that one fet community website account, and saw a message from someone. I glanced at their profile and saw some fairly insensitive comments about weight, I don't really want to go into a ton of detail, but basically he said he doesn't prefer 'bigger women, or fat females'. I've struggled with bulimia and anorexia for more than half my life, and weight is a majorly sensitive topic for me. My weight drops and rises depending on where I'm at with eating, and at this moment in time, it's at a bit of a higher point - something that is already hard for me to deal with. Seeing the word fat triggered a lot of stuff, so my mind went a bit crazy. So I replied to the person's message a bit reactively, saying, 'I might be considered 'fat' by some people's standards, I'm sorry.' [Cough, my standards, especially.] He answered with this long, long, loooong message, and now I just feel a bit sick. I don't want to post the entire response, but here are a few of the....'highlights'. 'Although I do prefer thin women, I have played with fat ones'. 'Your youth could easily make up for your being overweight.' 'You don't look huge in your two posted photos.' 'Also, you state that you "might be considered to be fat by some people's standards," leading me to think that you are not enormous.'
In response, I basically said that I felt really uncomfortable, and pointed out the same things as above. I still feel kind of sick, and uncertain about what I said. I always feel bad saying no to people, and highly uncomfortable in doing so. I rarely even go on that one fet community website because I highly prefer talking to and getting to know people on here, and am not looking to fet for a relationship. But his was a message I couldn't ignore.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, or what I'm even looking for, I just had to like...say it, or something. Because I'm literally nauseous and shaky right now, and sigh. I feel confused and uncomfortable, and teary, and just weird. I don't even know if my response was right, etc etc etc. Eeek, lowkey panic. Okie. Anyways.
Sorry for this message being kinda long, and I really hope it's okay to have written and put here.