Tips on telling a partner about being a little or adult baby
Being able to express oneself is an important aspect to adult babies and littles. A part of this expression may involve telling a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or other romantic partner about their age regression or childlike interests. At some point, most adult babies or littles will feel the need to find the proper wording, information resources, and perfect timing to have this important conversation with their partner.
When a little chooses to tell a trusted loved one about their interest then it is important they choose wording and timing carefully. A direct statement is best to start out with when approaching the topic, and both parties should be focused on conversing rather than multitasking light conversation. It is also crucial that both parties have undivided attention during the conversation to reduce misunderstandings.
The little must be ready to answer upfront questions their partner may have about the lifestyle and how they would expect to be involved in it. It is recommended that the little make a clear list of information articles and websites that are available to the public to provide to help answer follow-up questions and give their partner additional insight. The little must also be ready to answer basic questions such as:
- Okay, so, what is this Caregiver/little or Adult Baby thing you're talking about exactly?
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Basically it's how I relax and generally a part of my personality. I'm just different than other people my age. I like a lot of things that are really targeted toward younger children like cartoons, puzzles, coloring with crayons, children's books, Disney toys, and stuffed animals. I'm trying to let you know that it's a healthy form of age regression where I'm interested in childish activities and toys, but I'm capable of learning, growing, and still functioning as society wants..
- Where did you learn about being a little, age regressor, or adult baby anyway?
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I've known about my interests for awhile now as I was hanging out with friends and realizing I'm so different than them. When browsing online I found that there is a whole community of people who feel the same way that I do. I did some reading a little bit and realized that this is who I am too. I'm not alone in feeling this different.
- Where can I learn more about these things so I can understand what you're talking about better?
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There are a lot of resources online. Some are very in depth on topics and some just are communities where people talk about things they like and make friendships. You can check out online resources like:
- Does this lifestyle have anything to do with children or child involvement?
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No. The Caregiver/little or Adult Baby personality trait has nothing to do with underaged people. Regression has nothing to do with predators or situations of "adult nature". This is a personality difference that only a small amount of people have, but that I feel strongly I have too. Just because I sometimes act like a little kid or like stuff that is meant for kids doesn't mean that I am interested in children like that.
- When did you decide you wanted to be a part of this regression thing?
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I've known about my interests for awhile now. I've always been into things like coloring, cartoons, and Disney trivia. I could sit and talk to friends and just point out so many things about them that seemed more mature than how I felt and thought. I also found myself doing things that little kids do and really, really getting into it, really enjoying the feeling of freedom to do what was making me happiest even though people my age don't do those things any more. I enjoy the idea of having someone who cares about me more deeply and more parental than I've found in other relationships, and someone who goes out of their way to care for me, protect me, guide me when I am a little lost in life, and other important qualities that I just find most Caregivers tend to have.
- How long have you been interested in age regressing?
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I've known about my interests for awhile now. I often find myself overindulging in childish behaviors and interests like cartoons, junk food, and silly things like building blanket forts while coloring. I'm not sure exactly when all of this started but I know it's something I identify strongly with very often. Just, one day I realized that I'm not like my friends and I think that's okay.
- Do you expect to regress with me often or that I participate in your regression?
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Some days I'm more into my feelings and mind of being a little more than other days. Sometimes when I'm upset--like when I'm very stressed out--I end up watching extra cartoons or Disney films or find myself lost in a childish task like playing with my stuffed animals. It's really dependent on what mood I'm in, and what responsibilities I have to take care of in the immediate time-period we're talking about. Your involvement is not absolutely required but I would really like to talk about that further after you have a clearer understanding of how I feel. I can't change who I am though and I think that you've already seen me being more little at times anyway. I want things to work out with you and I feel like it's important we talk about this, but I don't expect that you jump in and take on a more parental role if that's just not you.
- So, how do other couples work together when one of them is interested in this type of thing?
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Usually the person that is more inclined to partake in the childlike activities has their partner become what is referred to as a caregiver. The caregiver just makes sure that the other person is in a safe place and can do things like bring them snacks, watch cartoons with them, or give them rewards for chores they had assigned to the childish participant. They're more parental, if that makes sense. These things are relationship-specific though, and I'd like to start with you learning more about how most people work well together with this instead of jumping headfirst in. I have some resources for you if you want to learn more and maybe talk with some people in the community who take care of their little partners.
- If this is such an important thing to you then why didn't you tell me sooner?
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As you can imagine, telling someone I care about so deeply can be overwhelming and maybe even embarrassing to explain. There is a lot of possible outcomes to this conversation because what I'm talking about is often misunderstood by people who aren't already educated about it. I had to find the right wording and prepare myself for this conversation. I'm sorry we didn't talk about this sooner, but I hope you are happy to have this conversation with me now. I've always been this person though and I think I've shared it with you in small ways already without having to say these words.
- What do you do when you regress?
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It really fluctuates on my mood when I go into what I call littlespace. When I feel like being little is relaxing then I might color with crayons in a cartoon coloring book or watch some cartoon movie. I might play with stuffed animals, have a drink from a sippy cup, bottle, or plastic kid's cup, or make beaded necklaces or bracelets. Sometimes I just relax on the couch with a snack and watch a movie that I get really, really into with giggles and all.
- Where do you do these things at?
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I usually feel most little when I'm in a safe, comfortable place. Because of this, I'm most often feeling little when I'm at home or in my bedroom. If I feel very comfortable with someone then I might also act a little more playful or childish around them. It's all about where I'm most comfortable and who I'm with at the time.
- Have you told anyone else about your regression tendencies? If so, how did they respond to it?
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I haven't told many people because it's an easy thing to have misconceptions about. It's important that I only tell very trusted people about it so that they give me the opportunity to answer questions they may have and explain myself if they don't understand. Plus, it's really not everyone's business anyway. I'm just me, you know?
- Okay, so, now that I know you're a little or adult baby, how am I suppose to treat you?
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Just treat me the same way you always have. Now you just have a better understanding of when I act a little silly and that it just means I'm probably in a good, comfortable zone. I'm still the same person I always have been. If you want to be more involved with this then we can talk about what is typical for caregiving partners to do and maybe we can make some adjustments to our relationship. Maybe we'd just start with you calling me a little name like "baby" more often and we can just relax into more if we want to do that. I know this is a lot to take in right now though so let's just work on helping you understand all of this first.
Littles and adult babies should make a handwritten or typed out list prior to revealing themselves. Being well prepared in this manner can be an extremely important factor in reducing anxiety and misunderstandings. It is also crucial that the little does not take offense to the questions being asked and approaches the situation not in a defensive manner, but, rather, in an informative state.
One should also be prepared for both a positive or a negative reaction from their partner. Prior preparation can help them react more appropriately and not in any extreme manners. A little should think very clearly about what they could potentially gain from expressing themselves to help with self-encouragement. Ultimately, the reaction isn't something that can be controlled so it's important all real possibilities are thought out thoroughly before proceeding forward, and the little or adult baby should be well-prepared with resources and to give their partner time to take all of the information in and understand it.
After the conversation has ended and both parties are researching, exchanging resources, and relaxing from the tension then the little should consider when to bring the topic up again. Preferably, the topic should be brought up one to two weeks later to encourage their partner to continue researching if desired or begin participating if they feel comfortable that point. The little should be prepared that point to provide a couple of starter suggestions for their newly-discovered caregiver if they are interested. If their partner is firmly not interested in pursuing the dynamic further than their initial research then the little should consider if their lack of participation is an acceptable compromise in the relationship for them or not.
This is one of the largest steps in a littles or adult babies life so they should consider this to be something of a serious matter that shouldn't be taken lightly. Being fully prepared prior to choosing to explain the interest to a friend or family member is crucial. Preparation methods as thinking about developing clear wording, being prepared with informative resources and answers to question, and being emotionally stable for either good or bad outcome may prove to be vital in having a calm, informative conversation with their beloved partner.
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